Friday, September 01, 2006

Rape

Disconcerted though I was by his ominous presence, the corner where I had to reach was hardly a minute away. And it was this teasing proximity that obfuscated my thoughts. It seemed ridiculously cowardly to go back from there; or perhaps the option of going back never occurred to me at all. I walked along the wall, keeping closely to it, and making sure not to make any noise that aroused the beast. From a distance, not sufficiently far but still the farthest possible from him, I saw his hairy, thickly tail sleeping on the floor.

On walking ahead a few earnest, bated steps, I began to get a sideward glance of his bulky belly, which heaved heavily with every breath he took. His formidable bulk had kept his head well-hidden behind it. I thanked God for keeping me out of his sight. I had forgotten that the beast didn’t need to see me to know I was there. I didn’t realize that no matter how sneakily I moved, he could hear my footsteps, he could smell my presence, and he could sense my fear as well.

All of a sudden my attention was seized by the sight of his ears waking up and standing alert on his head. My whole body shuddered with a dreadful anticipation and I found myself stuck to the wall. The beast turned his head to me and stood up. Rooted with fright, as it were, I averted his gaze and staggered ahead. He stood where he was, but turned his head towards me, keeping his gaze fixed on me. Under some unholy spell, perhaps out of panic and confusion, I diffidently stamped my foot on the floor to scare him off. The beast drew back with a start but didn’t take long to overcome the surprise. By looking at his expressions I soon realized that I had made a blunder. I had started it and now it could not be left unsettled. I hollered out the guard but got no response in return.

I looked around searchingly and got sight of a rod near the corner leaning against the wall. He noticed me looking at it and perhaps read my mind. He steadily followed me as I rushed towards the corner. I ran for my life, got hold of the rod and turned back in a frenzy. I looked back at my enemy and his sight left me gasping for breath. The infernal ferocity that sparkled in his eyes chilled my blood in my veins.

As per the last command of my doomed fate, I charged at him with my weapon. But it fell on him like a light thread! Betrayed, I cried with dismay when I looked at it again. It was a mere rope! I let it drop and helplessly, I looked at the wolf and waited for his reprisal. Many little curs had gathered there by then. They stood around him, in a hope the very thought of which was horrifying, wagging their thin rodent-like tails and cheering him for some heroic action.

He leaned back on his rear limbs to get a thrust and leapt with a fiendish force at me. I fell hard on the floor, with him on the top of my body. I struggled with all my collected strength to release myself but all my efforts went in vain, as my limbs were pressed hard on earth under his weight. He mirthfully allowed me to try as much as I could. He wanted the suffocating feeling of helplessness settle deep inside my mind. And he visibly enjoyed his victory. Defeated and exhausted, I gave up my futile battle. As if he had been waiting for this moment, he savagely pinned me down at the ground and flashed a trivializing smirk. Then his canine jaws opened wide and his tongue slithered out like a hideous snake. As I felt dizzied by the abominable stench of his hairy, slimy body, his saliva rained on my mouth and smeared my whole face. Tormented by the odious warmth of his breath and his flesh, which throbbed with wrathful lust and rubbed against me, I fainted after a while. In the background, the cheering and jeering continued endlessly.

When I woke up I found myself alone with an unbearable reek of my own body. I knew no soap, no sea could wash away those stains from my memory; no amount of tears could purge that shame from my eyes. As I lied flat on my back, I saw a thousand pieces of a broken mirror fastened to the purple-blue sky; and I saw myself being violated by a thousand pairs of eyes; my own scornful eyes!

And while my whole being revolted against the nightmare that happened, I felt my groin writhing with a loathsome longing.