Blood of the Demon

Travelling by bus could be a traumatic experience in the age of Himesh Reshamiya. This time I took the government volvo to protect myself from movies like 'No Entry'. Watching this movie (or for that matter most of new Bollywood movies) is no less than a forced penance. You feel like fainting. Anyways, no 'No Entry' this time, thankfully.

But to my utter dismay, they started playing radio. How intolerable silence has become for us! God knows which channel it was, all the songs seemed alien to me. Not just alien but irritating and infinitely dumb with their monotonous beats, soulless rendition and nauseating lyrics. Even the hopelessly artificial enthusiasm of RJs couldn't out-dumb the dumbness of those songs. Well, there was absoluely no music at all. There was just a series of desperate attempts to avoid the horror of silence. Any class 10 year old can make such rubbish music. Melody is dead in bollywood. No wonder this Reshamiya guy is said to have composed some fifteen thousand tunes. I have heard that listening to the symphonies of Mozart improves your ability of recognize patterns. If this is true, then I am sure than listening to this Bollywood non-music is very much capable of making you a retard.

Listen to this -

a-aa-aashiqui mein teri
j-ja-jaayegi jaan meri

Ever heard that? I had not before my last bombay adventure. There are a few more, equally competent to make you feel like vomiting. Now I understand how did I fall sick just after coming back to Pune and couldn't raise myself for 2 days from my bed. Even now my head seems heavy.

Until recently, I used to live in a nuovo-bollywood-immunized environment. And I made sure that it remained like that. Whosoever came for accomodation at our place had to face an interview.

-do you have a TV?
-do you listen to rock?

If the answer to any of these question happened to be 'yes' then he was sent back without any further delay. Little I realized then that these indipop, remixes and punjabi crap are even more mediocre. It's strange that I never was consciously aware of that. But now I am, perhaps because one of my roomie is fond of only indipop and remixes and punjabi crap. Often I am made to hear someone howling a random jumble of words with a love that is worse than hatred. They don't even show minimal sincerity to what they say. They say words like 'fanaa' in the same tone as they utter words like 'mast'. Now I have to shut my door to keep those beats out and to write this post peacefully.

I see myriad of Himesh Reshamiya hate communities on Orkut. He surely is God's punishment to man. But he is successful and many more wanna-be music directors are more than happy to follow his way. I remember a story from Hindu mythology about this rakshas (demon; his name was Raktabeej) whose blood, if fell on earth, reproduced a clone of him. Goddess Kali beheaded him in the battle but his fallen blood gave birth to many other demons. He increased in number and it became very hard to defeat him. In order to kill him, Goddess Kali had to keep his blood from falling on the ground so she stored his flowing blood in a bowl and drank it. Only then he could be defeated. The tunes of Reshamiya have a similar effect. Wherever they fall, they make one more Reshamiya.

Reservation: some more thoughts

Philosophers have their say. Politicians have their way.

Read this article on reservation to know my views. I can't afford to be serious beyond a point about this issue. It's not because I am averse to debate but because I have huge problems in not considering the proponents of reservations incorrigibly asinine. At the cost of looking arrogant, I'll ask them to grow tails and live the arborial lives they deserve so much.

I had never expected Indian intelligentsia to be so profound and prudent. My mistake. But now I am proud of them. And I'm sure we have a bright future ahead. Look at the newspapers closely and then you'll find examples that'll convince you of their compelling talent.

Talent. Merit. Let's see what they have to say about it.

Merit can not be defined objectively. It has no value in isolation. It depends on many things, like time, context and circumstance. In Mahabharata age, having skills in archery was considered to be a symbol of merit. Draupadi was won by Arjun who hit the fish's eye by his arrow. But I'm not sure if modern day Draupadi would consider him even for 'a good friend'.

Like success, power, insanity etc, merit is also a social concept; a social construct. It has no meaning in isolation, for a man who is alone in world. It can not be defined in a one-man world. Society considered piercing fish's eye good then. Now it says cracking CAT is a token of talent. Tommorow something else will be considered as a mark of merit.

So Tendulkar should be thankful that there exists a game called Cricket. Else he would still be living in his old dwelling and would be driving a scooter instead of a Ferrari.

Oh my God! Keeping my erstwhile perception of the standard of Indian intelligentsia in mind, this idea seems to me simply SKYQUAKING! I am dizzyingly impressed!

Now they'll do what Bollywood directors do with the second half, the original part, of the movie they (re)make.

They say that as merit is a social construct, all the doctors and engineers therefore have to be grateful to the state for considering them talented. They are not talented per se, they are just considered talented, for some arbitrary reasons for which History must be implicated and hanged to death.

Enough is enough. Time to change. REVOLUTION! We cease to consider them talented from this very moment. As they are not talented, they have no right to be where they are. Vacate your places, you upper-caste bastards. When things are so mindbogglingly arbitrary, why not give turn to the other side - who are not talented as such but at the same time are talented too coz talent is a social construct. What will you do when all of us say that they are talented? When exams can not exactly measure what is valuable and worthwhile in a man then why not reward the failures and punish the exam itself! No it really makes sense. Who says that JEE selects right candidates for engineering? All of them fly away. So what's the harm in selecting those who score low, after all what do we lose? NOTHING!

What did you say? Reservation has not done what it was supposed to do in these decades? So what?

Preventive vaccination instead of humiliating crutches? Well, crutches cost less. And how many cripples bother to come all the way from their slums and villages to claim their crutches? Let us save some money for other things sir (smile).

I can not disagree that reservation is another form of injustice coz again it is not based on economic status but caste. But what of that? Caste comes handy my friend. Yes, I realize that nothing much will be achieved by this. Not a very insightful observation. But something must be done. Think about the coming elections. What do you think will save us from rising prices of petrol? If we keep on thinking about policies, who the hell will think about the elections?

What? How do we make sure that the benifits of this affirmative action reaches to the one who are oppressed and downtrodden and not to those rich guys who just belong to the caste that was oppressed and downtrodden? Well...arrr...that's none of your business. Next question please.

Justice? Now you expect justice from us? Where was your sense of justice then? What? Two wrongs dont make a thing right? See I am determined not to be fooled by words and rhetoric. I know you speak good. That's why I'm resolved not to talk over this. Why should I anyways?

What did you say? Nihilism? I don't understand what it is. I have no clue and I have no time either. I will support reservation in jobs and promotions and courts and olympics and everywhere, even at international level. I am not going to be deterred by logic and even by forwards on internet.

The SC/ST guys do pathetically in class. What? How come? But it is contrary to our social concept thing? Okay, that means the exams are politically motivated. We'll change the very nature of exams. Exams will be conducted properly in institutes. Subversive exams will be cancelled. Time for socialistic exams. All men are equal and no exam can suggest anything against this.

My friend's father belonged to a caste that has been scheduled. Wow! Neighbor's envy, owner's pride! He was selected in civil services. My friend, his son, also belongs to scheduled caste. Still he does! Isnt it cool? He got selected in IIT Delhi. He was our senior but he attended classes with us coz he was in the preparatory classes and then he was failed in a few courses too probably coz of some fascist profs. Recently I heard that he is going to IIMA. He wanted his snap with that red-brick building in background. Thanks to reservation, else his scheduled dream wouldve been very much like a dream and his scheduled heart wouldve been broken.

And why do you forget that these upper-class bastards flee to US for better prospects. Only our scheduled doctors serve the poor people of villages. What? They don't get chance? So you mean to say that they are less talented? You racist? But now we'll teach you a lesson. We'll redefine talent and this socialistic concept of talent will kick your brahmin asses bigtime. Just wait and watch.

And look here. Stop it. I am not interested in social justice as it has never been there except in books. I am interested in power. That was your time, this is ours. I am interested in this perrenial us verses them battle. Rest everything is, you know, shit. We carried your shit then. Now it's your turn. Don't waste my time and your words. You can not say anything that I don't know. Just do it. Do it or leave.