Blood of the Demon

Travelling by bus could be a traumatic experience in the age of Himesh Reshamiya. This time I took the government volvo to protect myself from movies like 'No Entry'. Watching this movie (or for that matter most of new Bollywood movies) is no less than a forced penance. You feel like fainting. Anyways, no 'No Entry' this time, thankfully.

But to my utter dismay, they started playing radio. How intolerable silence has become for us! God knows which channel it was, all the songs seemed alien to me. Not just alien but irritating and infinitely dumb with their monotonous beats, soulless rendition and nauseating lyrics. Even the hopelessly artificial enthusiasm of RJs couldn't out-dumb the dumbness of those songs. Well, there was absoluely no music at all. There was just a series of desperate attempts to avoid the horror of silence. Any class 10 year old can make such rubbish music. Melody is dead in bollywood. No wonder this Reshamiya guy is said to have composed some fifteen thousand tunes. I have heard that listening to the symphonies of Mozart improves your ability of recognize patterns. If this is true, then I am sure than listening to this Bollywood non-music is very much capable of making you a retard.

Listen to this -

a-aa-aashiqui mein teri
j-ja-jaayegi jaan meri

Ever heard that? I had not before my last bombay adventure. There are a few more, equally competent to make you feel like vomiting. Now I understand how did I fall sick just after coming back to Pune and couldn't raise myself for 2 days from my bed. Even now my head seems heavy.

Until recently, I used to live in a nuovo-bollywood-immunized environment. And I made sure that it remained like that. Whosoever came for accomodation at our place had to face an interview.

-do you have a TV?
-do you listen to rock?

If the answer to any of these question happened to be 'yes' then he was sent back without any further delay. Little I realized then that these indipop, remixes and punjabi crap are even more mediocre. It's strange that I never was consciously aware of that. But now I am, perhaps because one of my roomie is fond of only indipop and remixes and punjabi crap. Often I am made to hear someone howling a random jumble of words with a love that is worse than hatred. They don't even show minimal sincerity to what they say. They say words like 'fanaa' in the same tone as they utter words like 'mast'. Now I have to shut my door to keep those beats out and to write this post peacefully.

I see myriad of Himesh Reshamiya hate communities on Orkut. He surely is God's punishment to man. But he is successful and many more wanna-be music directors are more than happy to follow his way. I remember a story from Hindu mythology about this rakshas (demon; his name was Raktabeej) whose blood, if fell on earth, reproduced a clone of him. Goddess Kali beheaded him in the battle but his fallen blood gave birth to many other demons. He increased in number and it became very hard to defeat him. In order to kill him, Goddess Kali had to keep his blood from falling on the ground so she stored his flowing blood in a bowl and drank it. Only then he could be defeated. The tunes of Reshamiya have a similar effect. Wherever they fall, they make one more Reshamiya.