Mother is a word which invokes nothing but LOVE. And we cannot count reasons for it because it transcends every humanly conceivable limits. And the number of reasons we can recall is just a function of chance and memory. Let me dig up something to share with you from the deep recesses of my mind. I remember that was a time when I was learning alphabets and the letters used to fascinate me immensely. After all an intellectual phenomenon was in the making! And my 'Ma' had started to realize that her only son's education would be very costly. She had to yield to his demand to make the designs of alphabets on the bristles of his toothbrush every morning in order to make him brush his teeth! And as the kid(that's me :)) was small, his toothbrush was also tiny. So it could be imagined how difficult it would have been for her to satisfy his unrelenting condition! What a crazy devil I was!
Pehaps I have been expiating my sins till now with my irregular teeth. I vividly recall me and Ma burying my broken tooth the field of our quarter and chanting some strange mantra to issue Gods an imperative to make my tooth grow as the grasses in the field. How naive it seems in retrospect!! But equally cute!
And not only this. I had to pay my respects to the 'Dooj ka chand'. In Hindus perhaps it is considered sacred. Incidently I was born on Dooj, so she used to flatter me. I and used to get flattered.
My father used to pamper me royally. I am a hell of a spoilt brat. I dont remember anything which was denied to me if I asked for it. And I detested the word NO simply because I was not used to it. I never asked for anything which was potentially declinable. For me a NO means an unjust demand, a folly on my part, a grave mistake which reduces the gravity of my words! And that irks me because I find the burden of this political levity too heavy to bear on my mind. I didnt know though that a few years later I would meet a person who would mean a lot to me and who would subject me of this word time and again and make me feel to the core of my consciousness. Life! Life is a sobering experience. After all, all the people who say they love you dont actually know what they are saying.
I shouldnt make anyone feel that I lived in absolute bliss. I was duly punished whenever I transgressed the boundaries of childish mischiefs. I was a tyrant and used to pass orders to my servants(sorry not my servants as I was told many times) and charge on them with unmitigated ferocity if my orders were not obeyed. Later on I would be humiliated by the cruel fact that they were better than me because they earned their living unlike me. Also, they were more educated than me who was in std 2 or UKG. I would vent my wrath on my kid sisters which would fetch me more punishment. But I honestly admit I amply deserved every mortification. The most embarassing moment(next only to the incident when you call your mom to extricate your 'thing' from the zipper of your pant! Did that ever happen to you? I am sure it did. :)) would be when Pitaji would hold me with my hands in the back and ask my sis to slap me. Though she never did it. Not because of love but of sheer terror my smouldering eyes would arouse in their poor soul.
But I was not that bad a guy though initially I liked to watch beheaded fowl rise and fall on earth. How ironical it is to even recall for me! It could not have been me! I am sure I had stopped deriving perverse pleasures from blood very soon. I remember myself waking in early morning to release a fowl under a basket in my storehouse. Gradually I developed an affection for animals and corresponding hatred towards those who tortured them. I didnt like to mount on a horse-ridden cart and I felt like kicking the ass of the horseman when he whipped the helpless animal. I dont know why did it take me 10 more years to quit non-vegetarian food but finally I followed my heart and turned out to be a vegetarian.
I was very fond of dogs. After all they are man's best friends. I particularly like their liquid eyes. How lovely their eyes are! Well, this is a story of this small puppy which roamed near my house. It was winters and what attracted my attention was the unfortunate fact that it had no home to take refuge in the chilly nights. I made a small house for him by bricks I found lying around. Then I kept the pup in his home to let him know about his new possession. I dont remember exactly but perhaps I fed him in night too. Anyways some 6-7 years later I would feed the puppies the milk I was supposed to drink, and would be chided for that. Whatever, I dont know why but Pitaji didnt like it and he sent the dog somewhere. I didnt say anything(When I am really hurt, I dont speak anything) but certainly I found it cruel, to the dog as well to me.
I felt distressed when I saw birds in cages. How vulnerable they become because of their beauty and lovability!! I liked them free. I tried to release one parrot from somewhere(I dont remember the details) and was scolded and thoroughly discouraged. I was suspected for letting go the chicken too from the store though I denied it out of fear to be rebuked. But this incident fanned by burning determination to help the caged birds. I somehow figured that maturity is accompanied by apathy. I disengaged myself from every reason and made a promise to my innocent childhood to release the caged birds when I grew up. This vow was impenetrable to adultly arguments which I knew were corrupt and indifferent to others' pain and plight.
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