main aisa kyon hoon!

Sometimes I feel ashamed of everything that I have written here. I am feeling so right now. And it is a very curious feeling. I dont know if I should be feeling like this. I dont even know when should I feel like this. All I know that I am feeling shameful for whatever I have done here. And as I write here, this feeling is subsiding slowly. How can the cause of a malady be the cure also?

Writing is a product of one's thought process or it takes one away from his thoughts in order to save oneself from his own thoughts?

Can thinking and writing be done simultaneously? One of my friends justified his misspellings and other errors in his essay by saying that he was too engrossed in his thoughts. Perhaps he was right. Either you stay connected and recieve signals or you disconnect. Later on you write down. But sometimes the thought bytes vanish as soon as the cognitive radar is disconnected. I dont know if I am making any sense but it happens with me. So you tend to scribble whatever comes into your mind. This leaves the essay poorly structured. The form suffers for the sake of content.

It is interesting to analyse your state of mind and try to find out the reason for your emotions. It is interesting because it is, I feel, next to impossible. At least for me it is. My mind is too muddled to examine itself. You might have noticed that I am using 'I feel' very often instead of the polpular alternative 'I think'. But the problem with feelings us that they mislead too often. Thinking has its limitations but it hardly loses its grounds.

O my mind! I am unable to understand you because I am unable to detach myself from you. I am too close to you to see you.

This sense of shame is partly because of comparison. The more I attempt to jump out of the pit of mediocrity, I admit, I see it myself sunk deeper in its jaws. It is really frustrating to realize that you can not write what you can be proud of. Why is it that we can not create what we can appreciate?

Should I forget it or come to terms with it, or fight with it?

At lunch table

Usually I don't discuss philosophy at lunch table. But today it just happened. One of my colleague was lamenting over the age old problem of loneliness.

-what should I do?
-make yourself prepared to live alone.

The first thing is to be understood that the methods of reason will not be effective when the problem is emotional. Here the solution is simple- do what you feel like.

The popular remedy was to make a girlfriend. I didnt and I still dont see any merit in this suggestion.

I vaguely remember my childhood. Like junior Phillip Carey* I was fond of this class-mate. We used to sit together in the class. We used to share our happiness and sorrow and our little childlike thoughts too. We used to roam around in recess and used to share our food too. I didnt feel like eating when he was not around. My memory regarding him reminds me to this amazing thing: my jealousy and consequent fury when some other guy used to talk to him. I used to feel terribly insecure. I dreaded if he would leave me and go away.

Today I dont remember his face or even his name. Today I realize that friendship dies with time. It is subject to the cruelty of the clock.

Love. I wouldnt say that its doesnt exist. But it doesnt exist in the way we think it does. We feel similar attachments towards opposite sex. We take time and experience to understand that the nature of this longing is very generic not specific. You realize that you CAN live without her/him(your only one) when she/he goes away. Someone else comes in the way. You live unabashedly cheerfully even after the most treasured ones leave you. Sometimes later your life runs smoothly and you even detest the prospect of their coming back into your life. Time teaches. Time trains.

Love facillitates sex, justifies sex; it runs away from sex only to come back to it, drooling and disgraceful. And given everything, love is utopian. It is imaginary, unreal, farcical

When these poetic idols are demolished, you begin to worship the real God, that is time. Then you begin to realize that companionship of a casual acquaintance is far more meaningful than the memories of your best friends. With time, friendship becomes meaningless. People use their friends only to flaunt their social status. It all becomes so embarrassing and burdensome. We go to our friends in our crises seeking consolation. But it comes costly. You pay later through your nose.

Relationships are luxury. And soon they become your necessity.

yeah... back on track :)

Well, I said, and to require the help of medicine, not when a wound has to be cured, or on occasion of an epidemic, but just because, by indolence and a habit of life such as we have been describing, men fill themselves with waters and winds, as if their bodies were a marsh, compelling the ingenious sons of Asclepius to find more names for diseases, such as flatulence and catarrh; is not this, too, a disgrace? - The Republic (Plato)

Intolerance is the word. Absolutely uncompromising intolerance towards the very thought of reconciling oneself (huh!!) with the new fact of sedentary life - the arrogant outgrowth of .. be ready for the anti-climax ... potbelly :) People tend to first tolerate the insidious intrusion of this abominable protrusion in their life, then gradually come to terms with this disgraceful sign of 'perrenial pregnancy' and finally accept it as a part of their anatomy.

The remedy is intolerance. That's the best contraceptive to combat unwanted 'pregnancy'. Dont tolerate it. Dont come to terms with it and never accept it. We need to keep the fire of intolerance burning inside us, the all-consuming and all-purifying fire. After all every battle worth fighting is internal, isnt? Oh I digressed, well this battle doesnt demand blood, sweat would suffice. And it is worth fighting.

All this bullshit means, in a nutshell, that I have re-started jogging after a long hiatus and I am very happy about it. :)

Lets exorcize the ghost of adiposity and obesity away.

Sloth is sin.

Run.

Why dont you reveal yourself to me?

I walk through a lonely lane, in the powder-blue dusk. On my left I see the sun, after its daily chore, descending the stairs of sky with heavy steps; leaving nothing but a scattered, smouldering fire fainting in the arms of steel-gray clouds. To my right is an array of huge cemented, hollowed bricks, piled up all along the way. The oppressive silence, made conspicuous by the harsh chirrup of crows, gawks ominously through the dimly lit hollows of the bricks.

Suddenly someone calls my name. I stop. I turn my head but see noone around. A hallucination! I continue. I hear the call again. I look back, only to see the black-clad shadow of gloominess unobtrusively painting everything around in its own colour. I try to wade through the air that seems to be heavy with the eager anticipation of the unknown. I remember, I have heard this call before too. I take a tentative step further. But this time the call was somewhat different. I keep on walking. There was a sense of urgency, a cry of pitiful warning!

Keep walking.

This is the last warning!

I feel the hardness of the air in my lungs.

It is just a call, not a message. Or perhaps it is a message. But I am not able to decipher it. All I sense is that this message is important.

Yesterday evening too I felt a ceaseless churning, a violent stirring in my soul. I could feel it even physically. It was a dull but growing pain in by chest, shooting from my stomach and almost choking my throat, as if something struggled to release itself from within me. But after sometime it subsided and I slept. I woke up again, in midnight. And I found that my breathing was not regular. Out of consternation I paced in my balcony, till the depressing sight of the moonless night made me bored and go back to my bed. I lied down and tried to sleep till I became tired of trying. Finally I gave up in frustration. Then I slept.

Did yesterday die yesterday or is it still living in today's body? Is yesterday's illness is related to today's illusion? Does my caller want to save me from something which is ambushing around the next corner with bated breath? Is this restlessness, this dissatisfaction a secret language in which my destiny is talking to me?

Or this is one of the many 'nothing buts'? Nothing but a product of my imagination only to be disposed of as early as possible?

Why dont you reveal yourself to me? I would not make any mistake in recognizing you. I have already figured out how you would look like. I know your eyes. There is, there has to be, a connection between our souls. Let me once peer into your eyes and I will pick out the other end of the thread. Show yourself. I'll pledge myself to you and redeem myself.

F.R..E...E....D.....O......M

Yesterday night a strange phenomenon occurred to me. I was, as usual after returning from my office, lying on my bed with a novel in my hand. Suddenly an unknown voice, as if from my within, started talking to me.

-Abhishek, imagine that... I ask you to leave this place right now, at once!

And you have to depart from here never to come back again. Suppose you can not say no to me. Or suppose you yourself feel like doing so. Where will you go? Any idea? You are not allowed to go to your family, your friends or your relatives. Nor to your organization as well. All the doors you can knock are closed for you now. Now tell me. Think for a while. You can take your time. You are standing outside of your appartment and you have to choose your path. Which path would you choose?

-What the hell is happening!!

'Hey dick! Get lost!', I was about to snap but didn't. I felt an impulse to ignore it but since it sounded interestingly challenging I let my imagination obey his directions and wander in the directionless world that the voice wanted me to see and feel. I saw the picture of the building I live in. It stood tall behind me and was ready to bid me farewell. I felt like turning back and looking at it but my ego forbade me. Bemused, I looked at the street and the shops arrayed along the both sides of it. I gazed at the various stalls of chai, pan and juice etc. I saw stray dogs who were an inseparable part of the picture. I observed people coming in and going out and doing their daily business. I felt I was seeing them for the first time though they looked somewhat familiar to me. The whole scene had a strange novelty. Perhaps I was too busy to pay attention to its mundane details. But now I was watching everything purposefully and hence meaningfully. I wanted to find my role in the grand play being played at the biggest stage of the world. I wanted to enrol myself in the institute which was better than any man-made one and which never denied admission to anyone. My future was lying at one of these ways which went through this point. And I had no clue about that. I knew as much about it as any passer by did. How curious it was! I was sharing my ignorance with people as if I was sharing my destiny too with them. How could that be possible? I vainly tried to listen to the voice of my intuition. Frustrated by the nothingness of my mind I began to look around in search of something unknown but useful. I noticed a man who took some goods from a shop, mounted on his bike and rattled away to some unknown destination. My eyes followed him till he turned round the next corner and disappeared leaving nothing but a small cloud of dust crawling at the road. 'Where would he go?', I thought. How inexplicably amazing is that I can't feel his experiences; his pain and pleasure, his small anxieties and big aspirations, his life! I cant even feel how an apple tastes to him! I can only imagine about him, but that will be my imagination, wont it? No matter how much I try, I can not be him. This thought made me a little sad. But I didnt disturb the chain of thoughts. I had right only on my experiences. And this was my only duty to live my life and feel my experiences. I was sent here to make my mistakes and learn my lessons. I was supposed to let my life live within me. I had to find myself and internalize him. Or rather I had to find myself and externalize him. But did I know myself? I had seen my face thousand times but never my identity, my self, my soul! How could I find him when I had never seen him? Who would help me recognizing him? Where would I find those eyes that would help me in seeing myself? Would any mirror guide me? No, mirrors only misguided. I remembered Dorian Gray*. This is what a mirror does to a man! A spasm of horror shook my spine. It's incredible! How often do we realize it? And what the hell was I thinking!! I had to make a decision. I had to move ahead. Do we know where to go when we are left free, completely free from every attachment and every bondage? I never ever pondered over this and now this question was demading an answer, inexorably, urgently.

I visualized myself outside my appartment wearing a T-shirt and knickers. My hair was unkempt and I was hardly looking like myself. I felt naked in the market.

- No, not this way!

- Fine. You can choose your attire and wear your confidence. See to it that it doesnt lose its luster with the crease of your clothes.

- Can I take my credentials with me?

- Aint they with you? What are you when you dont have them? Have you earned them or they have earned you all the luxuries you are having?

I again saw myself standing amid the bustle of market and beeps of cars. The sun shone over my head. I felt the heat and missed my air-conditioned office. The first drop of sweat tickled my forehead. Sweat! I had forgotten its existence long back. I used to sweat profusely when I exerted myself physically. Now it's all the things of past. I even felt like piercing my skin to see my blood too, if it still ran though my veins. Where was I living, away from my sweat and blood? I remembered I had renounced sports long back. My romantic-self rebelled against this realization. I asked myself that who the hell I was now? I had been the one who never stopped playing cricket in the evening even during my board exams!! What had I made of myself? Whose life was I living? What for?

I took a deep breath and felt the air. I opened my eyes and saw the broadness of the day with a childlike joy. I felt a strange new freshness in the air. I marvelled at a bird flying in the vast blue sky. And the clouds!! Cheerfully I imagined stuffing them into my pillow to make it fluffy! What a cool cushion it would make!! I gazed at the blue sky and felt the wind brushing my face. The whole wide world revealed itself to me, with all its immense and infinite vastness, for the first time or long after an eternity. And I realized that it's time for me to condition myself as per the new reality, infact the reality. I could not afford to feel disdainfully indifferent to its mundane business anymore. I had to fit somewhere. Yeah, fit somewhere. This is what I've been doing since I dont remember when. Still I was so confused how to do it without someone telling me where to do it.

Why was it so difficult?

First family, then relatives and friends. They formed a protective layer around me. They decided on my behalf in the various stages of my life and I comfortably played the role they chose for me. I was given healthy and tasty food without my having anything to do with farming or farmers. I couldnt live for five minutes without a fan but I was not to touch a single wire. Then schools furthered the superficiality of living. It was like sliding in a long groove without bothering anything about anything. Everything just happened. The schools took my years and gave me grades as interest, without making me face any sphinx-like question the real life poses later on. After all I had paid fees just to keep me from thinking, hadnt I? For years I had never been short of assignments and examinations, and numbers as well. And I learned nothing but numbers only. The sepoy mutiny in 1857, the production of tea in Assam is x and the GDP of India in 1994 is y and the minimum age required to contest election is z. Noone ever talked about my real face and the mirror which reflected my real face. Why would they? Now I realize that it's my personal question and I have to search the answer; it's my cross and I have to carry it on my shoulder. It's my right and my duty.

I was kept away from the real life by the many devices of society. Perhaps I was not mature enough for that. IIT Delhi, eventually the great red fort was also won. I had a strong shell around my body now. I was no more vulnerable. I was no longer at the mercy of the vicissitude of chance. By now I had subconsciously developed a sense of fear from uncertainty, from maturity, from reality. My natural desire to explore the wild world of nature had starved long back. I tethered my horse with a nearby tree and relaxed in the cool shadow in the splendid forest of Karakoram. I never had to suffer the scorch of sun.

Finally I found a niche' in the corporate world. Now I had to only follow the foorsteps of my predecessors and continue my journey in a large caravan towards a business school. Perhaps I wanted another shell around my body. And there were many social institutions which earned by mass-snailification of men and women.

Yes, all of us are snails. Safe within our shells we drift disgracefully towards a destination that doesnt beckon us. We've bartered our wings for these shells. But this sense of insecurity has pervaded our psyche so profoundly that no number of shells can make us feel safe. The quest for the next shell is nothing but an attempt to forget the loss of our wings.

The world had stopped being a huge laboratory for my experiments, my edification, my emancipation, my illumination and my salvation. It had reduced to be a playground. The shell-mongers have repeatedly said that it was a battle-field and we need their shells for our survival. Yes, we were not living but extending our survival.

God knows how many thoughts assailed my mind. I realized in the end that I have things but I am nothing! The voice had come to wake me up from my long slumber. It wanted me to appreciate the importance of being over having. I had exhausted my mind but could not imagine myself going out further than the first corner. I am still thinking about it.

I understood that freedom is coming out the these shells, these institutions, these certificates and degrees which define and delimit us. Renunciation of these shells that obstruct the sun and our growth would be the triumph of the being over having. We need to relinquish the petty rights which under-compensate the freedom we are made to forfeit for their acquisition. This is the way to humanization which essentially passes through de-snailification. It is, no doubt, a continuous and difficult process and a struggle within. But nothing of value or worth comes cheap.

* The picture of Dorian Gray - Oscar Wilde

Devil in the den of God :)

Click it to enlarge it. This place is Notre Dame, Paris.

let it kill if it thrills

* Contains black humor *

Riding a bike at a speed above 100kmph is fun even when you don't exactly hate and want to get rid of yourself. It is however a superfun experience if you do so. It is interestingly amusing if you are vaguely aware of your suicidal instincts but the amusement doesnt diminish if you don't, it only changes its colour or shade. If you have someone with you to pretend fear and lock her body with yours then nothing is like it. But it is like sleeping, its yin counterpart, it is no less lovely even if you are alone. In fact it is a very nice way to celebrate the listlessness and the loneliness in life. Speed is a nice refuge, like alcohol or books or work or whatever and it fills the emptiness of our life. It's an effective therapy too. It helps us bear the banalities, inanities and slowness of life. Whatever it is, it is fun and that's what matters.

So my pulsar dhooms at Bombay-Pune highway. My sony makes my riding more musical. She gets me drunk with ecstasy. I dont drink and so I dont know what drunken driving is like but this is too good for me. I rouse my heart from its monotonous chore of keeping me breathing. Come on! Let me give you a life you li'l fella!! I make it dance on its own beats. Beats are anyways more musical when they are not unlimited in number. How dear the life is on the verge of death! Just like land on the edge of a cliff; ever been there?

One suggestion: Never forget to wear your helmet. It helps your folks to identify you if something unromantic happens. Uncertainty kills them more than your death. So do wear your helmet. Anyways getting your skull crushed is quite an unaesthetic idea. It might disturb the scene for happy people. Why having them pretend solemnity instead of love!

*****************************************

Yesterday I borrowed two thought stimulants from this world. Let me give them back.
The ideas were already in my mind but here they are expressed beautifully, precisely and succinctly.

- "Strategy! I've had no strategy in life. I owe everything I have to serendipity."

(Courtesy:http://anksy06.blogspot.com/)

- I agree to whatever you say about India provided you agree to the fact that the opposite of it also holds true.
(Courtesy:Ashutosh Mathur)

The abhinterpretation of (anti)cheering

Perhaps it is again one of my nonsense interpretation of an equally nonsense observation. But I promise that it is an "original nonsense" and I hope you would not find it boring. That qualifies it to be packed in words and presented to you for your cerebral consumption.

*Incoherence, if you could detect, is regretted.

Statement: Connivance in (anti)cheering by an otherwise unpermissive authority in IITD is a cunning maneuver to preclude potential politicization of youth and polarization of power.

Axiom: SAFETY VALVE THEORY.

- Huh!! I am enlightened! What an insightful remark! Man it's a fossilized cliche' for Godssake. - I agree to this point. So what? I agree cliches are not very interesting but anyways the truth doesnt exist for your entertainment. And dismissing a cliche' just for its being a cliche' is not only ultra-cliched but also an indicative of mental indolence.
- But don't you think you are taking it too far?
- Please suspend your judgement for a while. And read on.

The simple idea is to get the extra-curricullar energy of the students drained by allowing nay encouraging them in shouting their throats out for/against something which is absolutely inconsequential. Moreover, this creates an illusory world with an completely erroneous sense of winning, losing and competetion. But it is exciting and it keeps them occupied with the elaborate rules of the game. The observation of these rituals provide them a false sense of integration (and not observing these rituals, in unritualistic way, results in alienation). Every IITian pretends not to know that the distribution of students in various hostels is just a matter of chance and none of the hostels is inherently superior to others. But the more blind mania a hostel-maniac exhibits in his unmitigated pretense, the more flowery laudatory adjectives are showered over him. The award system has been further devised to implement the managerial incentive-punishment trick. Our inherent hankering for glory makes their work even simpler. Lastly the grand exaltation of the purpose provides it a tinge of patriotic loaftiness and makes uttering anything against it almost blasphemous. That's IIT hostel life for you.

Positives: yes there are. This inculcates a team spirit which transcends regional and academic boundaries and provides a platform for cultural-intellectual intermixing that is conducive to the overall growth of an individual. But the reality hardly corresponds to this ideal purpose. Brotherhood developes but not in the way it is desired. Just like drinking together or doing anything 'forbidden', it is developed in the titillation of complicity. It gives you cheap kicks and highs and a misplaced sense of unity and power. Period.

Negatives: how many do you need to be convinced? I'll talk about the confusion of identity first.

To start with, IITians are talented students and they are expected to be responsible citizens and proficient engineers of wherever they choose to live. This opinion and expectation doesnt always allign with their self-images and youthful aspirations. Fine. They want to dudify themselves and blot out the stigma of nerd often attached to them by some nobodies. Above all, they are human before anything else and their individuality should be respected by all. Fair enough. But in the campus their primary identity (what are they there for?) is that of a student of engineering or of anything they like to pursue in academics. The other things come later, including their hostel identity which dominates their minds for most of the time.

My straightforward opinion (not very flattering!) about the 'confusion quotient' of those students who ostensibly got admission in IITD for the higher purposes of playing and 'pataoing' females used to enrage them. These people pretended as if their being sportsmen par excellence secured them rooms in IITD hostels and they wanted me to buy this! Give me a break! And females! Only a major hormonal imbalance in their bodies or an absence of line-of-luck on their palms could draw them to these morons.

The confusion in the identity also takes its toll in intra-departmental activities (for example-departmental elections!). As soon as the feeling of esprit de corps is attached with the hostel and not with the department, the academics loses to mass-hysteria, the significant prostrates before the trivial. This pathetic level of awareness, interest and participation of students is plaguing most of the deprtments in IITs. The young and energetic students can help re-creating the image of IITs and shape it as per the demands of the present technological and industrial environment. But I see the death of dynamism in IIT. They teach the same musty books with mythological technology everywhere. There is hardly any interface with the industry. Science, it seems, is the latest superstition, and is in vogue too. I wonder why I didnt observe this then? Why didnt we make a team and arrange seminars, presentations, trainings, projects for ourselves? No matter what your career goals are, these things always pay. Perhaps I am talking too much. Perhaps I have not said enough. Who knows? The possibilities are only limited by one's faculty of imagination. And the senile profs know it very well. But these losers! They dont want to project that what they teach is redundant or obsolete or even incomplete. I knew it was useless but I couldnt find out the right way. I didnt participate in departmental activities. There is no such thing as departmental alumni e-group or something like that. I dont know if it exists coz I've never come across any such thing. IITs have deteriorated into places predominantly for playing AOE, practising cheap politics, preparing for CAT and selling infamous MMS! Thanks to the crew the ship is heading straight towards the iceberg. And these morons attribute this downfall to the JEE and the coaching institutes (as if they are the prime threat to the national security! Read this) whereas they know too well that they are the ones who should be held culprit for incompetent managemant and outdated pedagogy. They know that sooner than later the students, who in their ignorance or naivete' take them for God, would come to know about their reality. The way out: keep them away from reality. In the rage of hostel wars the students might acquire skills unknown to them but the intentions of the authority is not beyond suspicion. My rhetorics and your credulity is not needed to appreciate this simple point that the people who know what is to be done are not doing anything what is to be done and at the same time doing everything what is not to be done. They give us freedom to fling filthy phrases at one another in the seminar hall but rigidly exercise 'thought-control' in the matters which matter, by the various weapons they possess.

Talking about cheering per se, I would say that I found cheering absolutely ludicrous at most of the places. And anti-cheering UNACCEPTABLE. But in IITs it seems that every contestant needs cheering no matter whether he is a football player or violin player. You can easily find these retarted bipods bellowing outside the debate hall too! Moreover the excessive anti-cheering changes the very nature of game being played. For an instance a match of badminton is decided more on one's thick-skinned immunity to the torrent of oral filth rather than his(sometimes her too) atheletic skills. True, psychological strength should be tested but it is anyways tested in cheering-less matches too. If the IIT- sophomores were given freedom, they would gleefully pack their bags to go and cheer for Vishwanathan Anand! And what this cheering does anyways? I remember a TT match where an over-enthusiastic player used to hit the ball so hard (perhaps with added enthusiasm) that it hardly ever fell on the table. He was not that incompetent but he did so coz he was playing in his own hostel and was surrounded by hundreds of bawling inmates. And the dude desperately wanted 'to beat the shit outta that fuckin bastard'! Only he didnt know how to do it. :)

The students of IITs would not, in my opinion, make a union and negotiate for their rights with the authority. I won't take this that far keeping the brittleness of your imagination in mind. I can contrive reasons to support my belief too. Even you can. So lets spare each other and lets not play the reason-reason game here. But we can never rule out the possibility that the students can participate more meaningfully in the things that actually matter and can subtly alter the power structure within the academic system. The recent initiative by some awakened and sensibly enthusiastic students in the placement cell highlights this point. I will attribute your incredulity, if still there, to the fact that you might be one of those who don't believe that the earth revolves around the sun simply because you have not seen this happening!

Man re..

Man re, tu kaahe na dheer dhare;
O nirmohi moh na jaane jinka moh kare..

Movie: Chitralekha
Singer: Md Rafi
Music: Roshan
Lyrics: Sahir

The poetry of Sahir, the sitar of Roshan and the rendition of Rafi! What else would one ask for? I can only talk about words here and so I would.

Check these lines out-

Utna hi upkaar samajh koi jitna saath nibhaa de,
Janam maran ka mel hai sapna yeh sapna bisraa de,
Koi na sang mare,
Man re..

You need to have experienced the life to appreciate these lines. How true! What are we but fleeting moments living and dying at the same time! Why quest for permanance when it exists nowhere except in our words? And on a second thought, would not permanace steal the beauty from everything that is beautiful?

I had to sail through many oceans to come to you

I had to sail through many oceans to come to you. The waves shoved me back. The winds almost tore my oar away from my hands. The water leapt on and blinded my eyes. The couriers of Death tried to intimidate me. But I remembered your smiling face and lo! my worn-out muscles and bleeding fingers came to life again. The warmth of your memories sustained me in those chilly nights. I didn't stop. Nothing could have stopped me as you were calling me. I let all the forces of the universe do what they could and I carried on keeping you in my mind. It was a trial of my passion for you my love! What and who could have stopped the one whose spirit has been kindled by your divinely fire! And this fire was not made to be extinguished. Finally the ocean parted and gave me way to you.


But then you denied me shore on your isle.